This is so hard - it seems like most of the time when someone on the Yahoo Fanconi list posts a message of a Fanconi B crossing the rainbow bridge - it is something drastic that has happened - uncontrollable seizures, cancer, things like that…. none of that is happening to Tayda. I feel like she is just progressing with regular 'ol Fanconi. She has a few elevated kidney numbers so we have her on the hybrid protocol, but there is nothing MAJOR going on with her. But, regardless of what her bloodwork numbers are, her disease is progressing. And she's getting older. She will be 10 in a couple weeks and maybe some of what is going on is just apart of being an aging basenji. For the past 4 years, I have tracked and charted and calculated the protein levels in her food, made sure her supplementation was spot on, and every night - refused to go to bed unless she ate ALL of her food with pills mixed in, even if it meant re-making her food at 11pm with a new batch of pills in a yummier medium - like warm rice, pasta or something else besides the kibble. Even now with the baby, she gets pilled at almost exactly the same times every day, and she gets all of the rest of her vitamins I'd say 95% of the time. Sadly, I don't always have the time or the energy to spend hours chasing her around with a food bowl of vitamins, and I feel SO guilty about that remaining 5% of the time when I decide "it's ok, she got most of them." At what point do you say "ok, this poor dog has been through enough." And what if her bloodwork comes back and she's deficient in a vitamin or two that we could increase to put her back on track? If she's been through enough already, is it worth getting those extra few vitamins in her? Will it make her happier? Will she become the dog she was 5 years ago before she was diagnosed with Fanconi? Of course not. But, even pre-Fanconi - she was always a picky eater, she was always on the skinny side, she was always the dog that wanted to be close by, but not on your lap.
I don't know. I miss seeing her curly Q tail, she has it down a lot of the time these days. Why? I don't know. I don't know if she is in pain, I wish she could tell me. She'll turn her nose up at kibble, but if I make her pasta she'll come prancing in and run through her repertoire of tricks in advance to my even giving her the commands as if to say "That's everything I know, now DROP THE PASTA!" Is that how a dog behaves if she has checked out? Doesn't seem like it, but she can't live on pasta can she? Sigh....