@senji:
My daughter feeds them all in the am before school, then they all go out for potty time. If I even start to get ready to go some place I can't let Britty out, she won't come in. If I call her to come in she thinks I'm leaving and won't come in.
I know she pees almost right away…sometimes before I am even out the door.
She never wants to be outside whether we are out or not. The only time she stays out is when she thinks we are leaving.
The baby steps of breaking the anxiety have been explained to me, I wish I had that kind of time. I don't leave for long periods of time but I leave often. My daughters are athletes, my 12 year old plays soccer and softball, my 8 year old ,plays soccer, does gymnastics and is in girl scouts. I help my parents a lot(my dad is having some health issues) I don't get a weekend off to spend trying to leave my house 100 times to get her over it. For that I am sorry.
I can feel your frustration and you seem to care for her but there is no "quick fix" for anxiety issues. In people or in dogs. Ask you daughters for help. If you parents are retired, maybe they can watch her while you leave. There are options. None of them will work in a day. If you feel there is no way you can continue with this girl, contact BRAT. They will help you. If you are coming here for us to tell you, she is impossible, give her up. That is unlikey. If you want to try and make it work, this is what I recommend.
I think desensatizing her will help but she is clearly a nervous nelly. Because of the restrictions on your time to work with her, medication in the interim may be helpful. I have not seen the meds work but clearly some on here have. Maybe if you medicate her now while you are working with her it will take the edge off. Does that make any sense?
To desensatize her, pretend several times a day that you are getting ready to leave. Do whatever you normally do when you are leaving. Then don't leave. You may start to get anxious when you are getting ready to go somewhere as well, since you are worried about what she will do, and she can feed off of that. Do not coddle her, pet her, talk to her anything. Once she settles and is calm, then praise.
I would also look in to an ex-pen to keep her in when you have to leave. Dash would never tolerate a crate. He was ok in an x-pen for a while at least. He didn't soil in it anyway. The best situation would be to not leave, have someone watch her or take her with you.
When you come home, you need to remain calm. Do not talk in a high pitched voice or immediately get upset becasue she messed.
Good Luck.