I need to find a home for my female pb basenji
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replied to NancySS on last edited byThis post is deleted!
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replied to NancySS on last edited by DebraDownSouthThis post is deleted!
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Thank you Nancy! This has been an agonizing decision. You are a kind person and I thought this would be an understanding place to start. This will be my last post based on Debby Downers hateful comments followed by Krazy's equally rude comment. I will try to find other resources mention in these posts. So please don't reply as I will not be returning to this message board.
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replied to missymoo on last edited byThis post is deleted!
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replied to DebraDownSouth on last edited by
@debradownsouth As I SAID, you probably did not realize your questions about missymoo's personal life were critical of her decision. You then gave helpful info, but the questions were offputting....and apparently she felt so too since she has already left the group. If you take issue with what I said, I am sorry...I meant them kindly.
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I am new to this forum so I offer this advice with respect and humility. When writing a letter or a text or email etc., be careful in the way you express yourself. Read over what you have written. Is this how you would speak to another person face to face? Sometimes our written messages comes off sounding mean or officious without intending to offend anyone. Like this: “ All staff members on the committee report to my office. “ OR
“Good morning. Would everyone who’s on the committee please pop over to my office this morning”. One sounds unfriendly one sounds friendly. Which one would you rather hear? This is just common curtesy. If you’ve ever been told you sounded rude in your written communication, take the criticism like an adult. Look twice at what you wrote. Have someone else proofread your messages. As in everything, kindness begets kindness. And you will accomplish more and be happier. -
replied to NancySS on last edited byThis post is deleted!
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Bottom line, it's the internet, it's a forum, people aren't always going to express themselves in a "politically correct" manner. Leaving a forum because one or two people were a little too direct or critical is perhaps being a tad sensitive/defensive. I wouldn't be on any forums if I reacted that way! ;-)
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replied to Aileen on last edited by
@aileen
Tone is almost impossible to read on a forum. Rule of thumb is if someone says something that is only mean/disrespectful/unkind through someone interpreting it that way, consider the issue is the one interpreting.As for me, if I mean something harsh, no interpreting is necessary.
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replied to DebraDownSouth on last edited by
@debradownsouth Oh for crying out loud! I have been trying to be kind...Talk about diatribes-you keep asking me to explain myself and then when I do ,you accuse me of writing diatribes!!!! Since you INSIST again I answer your question, I will try to use the kind of language you understand....Asking someone who you don't know about their personal life is just RUDE (not politically incorrect ...RUDE). You said and I use YOUR capitalization... "First is the the full time student YOU?" This poor woman who found herself having to give up her Basenji after 9 years does NOT need.an inquisition from YOU! Nor does she need YOU to instruct her on what is best for her Basenji. She knew that and had already made the hard decision, and was looking for help rehoming her dog. Tone MAY be hard to read....but the way in which words are used (and capitalization for emphasis removes any question.) It is amazing that you call my suggesting that a kind approach is better than a rude one as an "attack".
Then you feel perfectly free to post this "Please explain why you attacked me and not anyone who actually made personal comments about the person, bad breeder, no interest etc. Could it be you just were waiting to make an attack on me personally and didn't notice how obvious it would be? When I need you to tell me what to post, I'll be sure to ask. In the meantime, review the forum rules about personal attacks." Why in the world would I be waiting to make an attack on you? I don't even know you-except now I would say you are kind of paranoid and assign attcks to others when you use them yourself. The poor woman LEFT the forum before she could see you last "helpful" remark...You'll find it easier if you don't interject nastiness into things where none was intended. This is my last "diatribe" . Stop writing to me and I will agree to do the same so you will never have to suffer another "attack" from me since you believe I have nothing to do but "wait to make an attack on you personally". Believe me, I could not care less about you.
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You know what? Things are a lot friendlier when nobody takes it upon themselves to criticize the posts of others or tries to police the thread. It's an internet forum. People do express their opinions. Sometimes those opinions or suggestions may be perceived as harsh. So be it. Water under the bridge at this point. Let it go.....
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replied to NancySS on last edited byThis post is deleted!
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Taking eeeefarm's advice...
So it is clear... clarifying my post:
- I assigned NO MOTIVE.
- I suggested how to keep the dog happy if the poster AND student with dog. Again, no motive or criticism intended
- I suggested a rescue, and that if she had to use other rescues, try to keep the dog and personally check new homes.
- I also told her to check on facebook as someone asking about the dog.
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replied to DebraDownSouth on last edited by
@debradownsouth said in I need to find a home for my female pb basenji:
@eeeefarm
ROFLMAO, what did you do?Honestly, I don't know. Have been reinstated by promising to "be good". I think my cardinal error was flagging a thread on the Support Forum where someone had gone to whine about a thread on the Cuba Forum. Rats don't like to be "ratted out". ;-)
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While I know the original poster has (sadly) left the forum I would like to say this:
- it is an impossible situation to decide you have to rehome a beloved pet. Not everyone is responsible but at the same time not everyone looking to give up their pet is irresponsible.
- not everyone is privy to the agreement made between a breeder and an owner or whether it’s in the best interest of a dog to return to its breeder, in many case years later. In some cases it is just not in the best interest of the dog to return to its breeder due to reasons we may not know or for those in the industry know but don’t openly speak about. Sometimes people can find out practices after the fact that you would not want your dog returned into.
Oakley is now 8 years old and as many know I have been a member of this forum since the anticipation of his birth arrival. It has been a hell of a journey...a ton of medical expenses and a lot of difficulty. Oakley has separation anxiety and confinement anxiety (legit no closed doors in my home)...he is not dog friendly despite being raised differently, he is not good with strangers to the point I cant have people in my home, and he is food possessive. I have spent upwards of 15k for his care and have literally become an island at the age of 30...so that I could manage to keep him happy. We’ve had several incidents that I’ve worried would bankrupt me if taken to court and I’ve spent thousands seeing the best behaviorist in the country to little avail...the last year I have realized a career opportunity that would make keeping him near impossible and is a career I need to do sooner rather than later due to age limitations. More than a career it’s a dream for me and a service to our country...rehoming a dog like him is highly unlikely...although he’s a Peach if he gets all his “needs” met. I have always been ‘prepared’ to live this life without the husband, kids, or career I wanted as I knew I’d be late 30’s before Oakley passed...but it’s hit me hard lately that I can’t be 80 years old sitting in a rocking chair on my porch looking back at my life and be happy with myself over having given up everything to keep him until the end. The frank reality is that his life is a small portion of my overall life but the ramifications will far outlive him. It sounds harsh and I don’t mean it to be anything other than the reality of the numbers. I’ve been bogged down in these thoughts and it’s an awful place to be. A place I could never have imagined even a year ago. It’s so easy to judge until your faced with the weight of a decision like giving up your dog (at least for me).
All of this to say that I love Oakley more than anything and strongly believe I’ve done more for him than anyone else would. I’ve given up a lot. I’ve been guilty of judging people over giving up their pets or putting them down in situations...and I very often feel judged when I speak out about my more recent thoughts and upcoming decisions. It’s hard...and no one will be less forgiving of myself than myself.
I hope that everyone takes a little more time to realize the uniquesness or ones situation and to evaluate the person making the decision; if they’re legit then likely they know the best for their dog...even if it’s not the popular outcome. -
You were very brave to write this...and I am sorry for all the problems you and Oakley have faced together. I hope you find someone who can give him a loving home which will cater to his special needs. I am praying you and Oakley will each find happy lives and that you will make peace with this heart wrenching decision. God bless you both.
