This is a hard post to write, and if you have mean things to say, well, I don't care. Sometimes you just have no choice.
Actually the hardest thing is that Sayblee is doing very good with the newest chemo routine but we have simply run out of any possible funds, credit cards maxed out, for first time ever late on bills. We just don't have any money to continue. I cried all day Mon and Tues but called and told vet we have to stop. We'll give her just the steroids and hope that with it and the cheap oral one we can give her a couple of more months. We are now $5000 in debt not counting probably 300 worth of gasoline costs. It isn't even that I have a choice, we simply don't have any more.
And while if they could CURE her I'd sell belongings, beg family & friends & strangers, whatever, the truth is we could do everything and still only buy her a year if that. So that has me very sad even though I know that it simply is reality. We would need at LEAST another $2000 just to finish out the new round if it went perfect, and nothing with Sayblee has gone even approaching okay.
I don't want my daughter's senior year to be about finances so bad she won't even ask to go to the movies much less the normal senior year things. I don't want her last year to be memories of me crying over Sayblee and the financial stress. I started this with the full knowledge that it was for ME to have Sayblee, but now the stress is wiping out any pretense that this is good for my mental or physical health.
So even though she has responded well, is perky and bratty and happy, I can't buy her much more time. But I do know she has been loved every minute of her snarky little life and that I truly tried hard. As the vet said, even with full treatment that went RIGHT, about half the dogs don't make it six mos and she will probably at least hit that mark.
So sorry your dog is not well and not many people would have done what you have done. My dog has a little lump on her side and the vet said it would disappear, I'll go and see another vet after having read your story. Keep strong, I know that you find it hard (lost my Vickie last year who had been poisonned by rat poison -will never know who had the heart to poison her-, the vet had another dog next to her ready for blood transfusion, but her kidneys collapsed despite huge input of vitamin K, she died after 3 days of intensive care) I had sworn not to take another dog but…when I saw my Basenji alone in a cage in the Dog and cats home, I knew, it was the right thing to do. Vets do what they can but we have to be careful not to let our animals suffer for the sake of trying new treatments. My mum had a puddle who had bowel cancer, we had to get him put down as he was suffering too much despite treatment. However, if you dog is making progress, keep at it and do what you can. Bon courage, my thoughts are with you.
I'm so sorry you and Sayblee both have to go through this all. My first Vizsla got a mast cell tumor. Long story short…after two operations, 3 months of chemo and so many meds it was hard to count, the cancer won and we had to say goodbye...she was just a few months past her 6th birthday.
You've done what you can physically, emotionally and monetarily for Sayblee, you've loved her and comforted her through it all...that's all you can do. There are those out there that wouldn't drain themselves or their finances to do what you have.
Cherish the time you have left and when the time comes to say goodbye, know you did everything you could to give her the best life she could have. You are both blessed to have shared your lives with each other.
My heart aches for you both.
Sending many hugs,
Lynn
Debra, I really don't know how anyone could say anything mean to you about your post. You've done everything (and more than most would) you can for Sayblee. I know it isn't easy…don't be hard on yourself. You and your family deserve some joy especially after all you've been thru and all you've done.
My heart really goes out to you. And like Rivermoon said, just try to enjoy the time you have left with her. She is lucky to have such a loving owner!
I'm sure, as you said, that if a CURE was possible you would sacrifice everything. But when only a few extra months of life are possible you are forced to do a "reality check" and realize that keeping her comfortable and happy for her remaining time is the best course for you now. Sayblee has been well loved and you have done everything possible to extend her life. You have other family to consider at this time, and that is just a fact of life, no one would think badly of you for doing what you have to do.
Hugs,
Anne in Tampa
Thank all of you. I was a bit afraid to sign on.
I too have said I wouldn't get another dog when these go, but I expected to lose my 10 1/2 yr old rottie and 11 yr old chow, not my young basenji.
She is still feeling pretty good, got up on freezer to steal food, dumped the trash this morning. Okay she feels very good. For now good days are what counts.
I'm so sorry to hear this. It's a hard descision, but of course you can not bankrupt yourself to have Sayblee there for just a few more months. I feel so bad for you. I hope you have more good days than bad.
DDS-
We support you regarless of your decision. you are with your little girl, we are not. You must do what is best for you and your family. My thoughts are with you in this very difficult time.
Debra, I'm never sure what to say in circumstances such as these. I can only wish you many more happy and pain free days together. That includes freedom from your personal heart/love pain you are experiencing on a daily basis knowing the decision you may have to make in your near future.
I don't know you, but I think of you and Sayblee on a daily basis. You've had a lot thrown at you in a short period of time. Seems like one personal loss after another in the last year or so.
Bless you and your temerity, and damn those that choose to judge when not in your shoes.
Thank you for putting yourself out there. I (we) will help by listening and sharing kind thoughts. If you need more, please post. I think that is part of the reason the admin. started this forum to begin with. Sharing–-the good, the bad & the ugly
Sayblee's blood work last Monday was in the basement. Vet said she has surprised us before but she is very concerned.
Her white blood cell count nonexistent (0.5) so probable outcome is systemic infection. Put her on 2 strong antibiotics including Batril 136, a pretty high dosage for a 26 lb dog, trying to prevent that and give her body time to recoup. We knew this could happen so could only watch and wait.
This morning she Sayblee is spiking a temp. I have given her subq fluids but I am sure it won't help. The vet said if she gets fever, it's over. I will be taking her to the vet in the morning to put down. She has had 3 bad days, not suffering but pretty lethargic. She threw up the little she ate yesterday. I did get more syrup in her so she isn't sick from low blood sugar, but that's all I am doing. Today I will just hold her and love her. And tomorrow I have to let her go. I think we are out of miracles.
Hugs to you…. and know that when you help her across the Rainbow Bridge, she will be out of pain and running free with all those that have gone before her.
Well, you have done the best you could, give your dog lots of hugs before she goes. Poor thing, at least she won't be alone and will trust you to do the best for her. Be brave, it is always so difficult to part from our friends.
I'm so sorry. Have a quiet and love filled day together. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
I am so very sorry. This has been a long difficult fight. No one can say you didn't give her all you could.
Enjoy the time together today, even though every moment will surely be so bittersweet.
I am sorry.
All our love and prayers to you today as you spend your time with your baby. You gave her unconditional love and that is the most important thing. Know that we are all thinking of you at this time.
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I made the difficult decision to put Max through chemo when he was almost 16 years old. I said as long as he didn't get sick from the chemo, I would continue it. He tolerated the chemo very well–never got sick from it and went into remission, but the lymphoma came back within a month. Then his kidneys started to fail (I'm sure the chemo helped bring that on more quickly). It's hard to make these kinds of decisions, but you are doing the best that anyone can do for your loved one. My heart goes out to you.
Sayblee's white cells came up, but the red down, began throwing up blood. The chemo vet had offered to give her free chem, but with this we knew wouldn't ever be possible. We had reached the point where this was no longer fair to my beloved companion. She was put down at 9:09 this morning.
She is with all those that went before her, free and happy.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family while the healing process begins.
Condolences, Debra. You went above and beyond in the process of sending your baby girl home. Sending you heartfelt wishes for peace and healing.
