It's probably easier to confront a family member than a neighbor, but there was a time when a relative was sitting on my deck eating ice cream. Magnum was sitting politely in front of her, not begging, but, obviously, interested in the ice cream. She said, "If that dog jumps on me, I'll…" Interrupting her, I said, "You'll what!? Get off my deck?" She meekly responded, "Uh-huh," to which I responded, "I thought so."
Now, Magnum is very polite and even though he probably wanted that ice cream with all his heart, he never would have jumped up on her for it (and he didn't…just looked at her forlornly as she finished her treat). If he had, he, of course, would have been reprimanded and removed from the area, but it still irked me that somebody (other than me) was ready to "teach him a lesson." Especially since I had held my tongue numerous times when her kids were misbehaving.
Anyways, I know how you feel.
OH he is lucky I wasn't there…..I understand your frustration compleatly. I had a woman at the dog park the other day who's dogs were clear at the other end of the park than my dogs were. She for some reason was not anywhere near her dogs....so this Boxer comes into the park and Carlie (My Parson) runs up to him and starts barking like a mad man (THis is his prefered way to get boxers to chase after him). THe lady started freaking out thinking that Charlie was being viscious. Now I should mention that she had a 10 year old Spaniel and a puggle, so I am sure she is not used to supper excitable dogs...but she started screaming at CHarlie and then (To my and the boxer's owner's horror) She kicked my dog away from the boxer.....so here is were growing up in the west is not always the best thing (We are all cowboys after all). I put two fingers right in this womans sternum and said' If you touch my dog again I swear I will have you banned from this dog park, and I will have you arrested for animal cruelty." needless to say she left the park...now I feel awfull about this, but I am NOT going to let anyone touch my kids like that.......after she left the boxers mommy came up to me and said she was glad I had said something, because she was about to yell at the lady...which made me feel better....but even people with dogs sometimes are only comfortable with the breed they have. You did good not to freak out...but I wouldn't have blmed you at all if you did.
And let me just say this from a woman's standpoint…if you had ever placed a finger on me, I would have either gone to the police or I would have sprayed you with mace! :mad: You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself! Yelling is one thing, to intimidate a woman by placing a hand on her, seriously bad form! Yes she was in the wrong, but you were even more so for touching her. You can get your point across without being physical. Geez.
And let me just say this from a woman's standpoint…if you had ever placed a finger on me, I would have either gone to the police or I would have sprayed you with mace! :mad: You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself! Yelling is one thing, to intimidate a woman by placing a hand on her, seriously bad form! Yes she was in the wrong, but you were even more so for touching her. You can get your point across without being physical. Geez.
I don't disagree with you at all…. I said that I was not happy with my actions durring this, and had she gone to the police or maced me I would have deserved everything I got...I am not a person who thinks that I should not be responsable for my own actions. But I tell you what...I was pretty mad when I got home and my dog had a lump where he had been kicked....I didn't claim to have done the right thing in this situation, and I don't really think it matters had it been a man....it still would not have been the corrrect thing. I just cant handle cruelty to animals...sadly I am much more comfortable with cruelty to people...I appreciate you letting me know your feelings on this, however I do not need to be told by someone I do not know if I should feel shame or not....I feel that I did the wrong thing, but shame is the same as regret to me...if you dwell in it you learn nothing and will repeat your mistakes over and over.
if you dwell in it you learn nothing and will repeat your mistakes over and over.
Well said!
I don't disagree with you at all…. I said that I was not happy with my actions durring this, and had she gone to the police or maced me I would have deserved everything I got...I am not a person who thinks that I should not be responsable for my own actions. But I tell you what...I was pretty mad when I got home and my dog had a lump where he had been kicked....I didn't claim to have done the right thing in this situation, and I don't really think it matters had it been a man....it still would not have been the corrrect thing. I just cant handle cruelty to animals...sadly I am much more comfortable with cruelty to people...I appreciate you letting me know your feelings on this, however I do not need to be told by someone I do not know if I should feel shame or not....I feel that I did the wrong thing, but shame is the same as regret to me...if you dwell in it you learn nothing and will repeat your mistakes over and over.
Well said, Daniel! And, FWIW, it should not matter whether a man aggressively touched a woman or vice versa. Aggressive touching should not be tolerated between/among anyone, regardless of their sex or age.
Although, hopefully, a like situation won't be in your future. Being it seems you've thought about your reaction, I'm sure you'll forego the physicality and react solely with words.
Well said, Daniel! And, FWIW, it should not matter whether a man aggressively touched a woman or vice versa. Aggressive touching should not be tolerated between/among anyone, regardless of their sex or age.
Although, hopefully, a like situation won't be in your future. Being it seems you've thought about your reaction, I'm sure you'll forego the physicality and react solely with words.
I would hope that in the futre I can not react so badly. I as a rule believe violence of any kind is very wrong….I think that when it comes to my dogs I sometimes can forget myself in a situation where I feel thay are in danger. It's not great...but I try to learn from each oops I create for myself.
Altho I agree touching someone in anger is wrong, I would have had trouble not pushing this person away from my dog.
I am their protector…and they are my family.
They need the same amount of care my 3 yr old niece does, and if someone kicked her, I would have gone postal.
It would not have been right..but in the "heat" of the moment...
I would have probably done the same thing.
Altho I agree touching someone in anger is wrong, I would have had trouble not pushing this person away from my dog.
I am their protector…and they are my family.
They need the same amount of care my 3 yr old niece does, and if someone kicked her, I would have gone postal.
It would not have been right..but in the "heat" of the moment...
I would have probably done the same thing.
Thank you Sharron…Like I said...what I did was most certainly NOT right....but it was what happened, and I have never been one to try to suggar coat who I am (Including things I am not proud of). I would certainly try to react diferently in the future...but man I was soo angry....and Charlie has been warry of women since this experience....thank the maker for my sister who has come over every day for the past month to spend quality time with him so that he knows that it was about the individual person and not that she was a woman
If your dog is weary of women, ask some of your friends to "drop" by..and give them lovely treats to have in their hands when they walk in..
They walk in, with small bits of chicken falling on the floor when the dog approches them…then they look at the dog, who is pretty happy with the snack, and ask if he would like some more.
Then have the woman give the dog a treat from her hand. If the dog backs up or walks away, ignore the dog and move to the couch...
If they have time, go to the couch, have her sit, visit, and when the dog has moved away, drop another bit of food on the floor by her feet.
When the dog finds it, she uses happy voice and askes if the dog wants a treat..then one is given by hand.
Believe me, this dog will LOVE women after a few times of this.
Let me know if you need more info, as sometimes I don't make myself clear in writing things to others.
I meant to add that having different females come in is best.
Also, if you can find one or 2 with the "body" type of the bad gal at the park, that would be ideal…but an gal can help you.
Thank you Sharron…these are great Ideas...I really hate that he is shy of women now...he used to love EVERYONE...I am in the middle of a move to a house this weekend, but will definatly set up some time with other female friends to work on this with him..I really don't want him to be a scared boy of people...he is such a sweetie.
Once your settled, give this above a try..it does work and then your b will know Hands, feet, are a good thing.
Good luck and keep me posted.
I am suspect, but try to be understanding, of people who dislike dogs or certain types of dogs. I worry more about people my dogs don't like… I think dogs have a sense about the quality of people we can't sense.
And I will say I have to fight hard sometimes between being polite to other humans & protecting my dogs. I do not tolerate anger directed towards a dog very well. I can't judge your behavior because 1) I wasn't there & 2) I tend to be a bit emotional & over react in these situations anyway.
My take on the situation is this: I have an unruly barky dog - Duke - Who is the light of my life. My neighbor on one side is annoyed at his startling bark at them. While - I think back when their now adult children were kids were at times an absolute annoyance to me - but I also enjoyed hearing kids be kids. Their noise for the most part did not bother me, because I love hearing life. (however the beat of a basketball thumping in the wee hours of the night was awful) But they are grown up now and fantastic college educated people. We all do the best we can for what we have - I know that one day - all too soon, Duke's barking will subside due to his maturity. Patience - patience is my best advice. A dog that barks does not inflict pain…
