Fast and Sneaky great names for a pair‼️ Happy to read that all is well.
What's considered baseline?
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Are they scheduling Oakley first, so he won't have to be caged? Spencer didn't like to be caged at the vet's, so one of the vet techs would take him into the office after his cleaning and let him lie in a doggy bed near her while she worked. Maybe they could do something like that for Oakley, if he has anxiety? But he will probably wake up ready to go home, and you'll be close by so I'm sure it will be NBD.
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They do teeth cleanings last on surgery day bc it's the procedure with the highest incidence of infection..and because he can't be caged inthat situation they are going to call when they're ready to take him into surgery..as soon as I walk away from him he will flip his lid…he can't soothe himself in regards to me leaving ( unless it's what we've worked on..like crating when I go to work once a day). I can't even have someone hold his leash while I walk twenty feet away..he cries, panics and pulls.. Hopefully it will be minimal awake time pre surgery and afterwards he will be too groggy to thrash and scream or realize "mommy" isn't there. I'm crossing my fingers, that's all I can do to prepare at this point and hope there is no regression after.
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Oh, that makes it hard. Ava doesn't like to be alone, but she doesn't necessarily care if it's me. When I take her to daycare, she reaches out her "arms" like a baby for the person to take her to play. And she doesn't even look back!
I can see how your situation would be tough on both of you. But I'm sure Oakley will be fine. When they're young, a dental is usually a breeze with no aftereffects. And who knows– maybe this will end up being a positive like last time, and Oakley will come home more tolerant of being left. We can always hope!
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I can't even have someone hold his leash while I walk twenty feet away..he cries, panics and pulls.
That is pretty extreme! And something IMO you should work on. Sh*t happens. You need to prepare him for times when you can't "be there" for him. Perhaps ease him into daycare once a week? Would another dog or dogs distract him enough to tolerate your absence?
Other than that, I would think you could work on this with a friend, staying within his comfort level and lots of treats, while gradually increasing the distance and time spent away from him. e.g. if you are using clicker training, click for "quiet" moments, and his reward could be your return, alternating with treats from your helper. If it were me, I would do this in a neutral place, so you don't mess up anything you have achieved at home…..
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Eeefarm, I agree, it is extreme attachment…and something I'm not actively working on but do need to. I have catered many a times to his schedule so as not to rock the boat. If I'm at a family cookout I can't even leave the backyard to go into the house to grab napkins..he freaks if there's a barrier between us- I could be directly onthe other side of a chain fence petting him and he'd be bothered by it..you are right though- thing happen and he's not ready or at all "adjustable" to change so I'll definitely start working on things with him. It's possible other dogs may ease the separation but no likely..Oakley puts up with other dogs but he doesn't live for interacting with them. I've been in a bind and had my father come and walk him about two times while I was working and he seemed to put up with that (when he put him back into the crate he freaked out but he'd freak out even with me if I crated him twice in a day)..but being with someone else for a short period of time is ok, it's just when it's a direct result of me leaving him with that person that presents the problem.
Pamela, it would be wonderful if he could pull off a miracle twice and come home better than when he left!!!! I'll pray for that..lol. Many time I wish Oakley would be ok with company but to him, other people don't matter if moms not within eye sight...I'll be happy when it's over and he has his pearly whites
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I always try to bring baked goods when my dogs are having surgery.
I say "Here's my dog, and here's a bribe." And my vet and her staff are sooooo good to me! -
…..but being with someone else for a short period of time is ok, it's just when it's a direct result of me leaving him with that person that presents the problem.
O.K. maybe you have done this already, but there is a psychological difference between you leaving and him leaving. I see it with horses all the time. Taking a horse away from the herd may be O.K., but taking the herd away from the horse…....very much a different thing, even if it "looks" the same.
So don't you walk away from him. Have someone come and take him from you, and walk away (preferably someone he knows, who takes him away to give him something he likes and brings him right back at first). If you haven't done it this way, try it. Might make a difference to how he feels about it. He is leaving, not being left.
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Very good suggestion, I haven't tried this approach with him..I'm always the one to walk away..I'll start practicing this with him and do this on the 21st as well..
Agile basenji…I remember u saying that before and am picking up cupcakes from a local bakery as a bribe..hahaha..it's a very good idea!!
...and maybe I'll take one home for myself -
Not working on this is damaging to your dog. VERY damaging. What if you had to suddenly go away? What if you got sick and had to be in the hospital. Your enabling this behavior is really borderline abusive to him because you are causing his great distress for no reason. Please please please take suggestions given and start working hard on fixing this. It might have some reward to say my dog can't manage without me, but it isn't healthy for him. I started to say that I don't mean to be harsh, but I really do mean to be harsh. If a dog has some issues and you are working on it, okay. But when you admit that you "cater" to it and it isn't "Something I'm not actively working on but do need to." it is a really huge issue. Instead of your beloved pet being relaxed and able to socialize, be normal at the vet… you have a dog stressed out and fearful of your every move. To me, enabling and not trying to fix that really is abusive.
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To each their own opinion Debra, I am working with Oakley on other issues right now and at twenty nine months he is still maturing. I don't live my life by the "what ifs", as of right now I'm able to be with him all the time when I'm not working so yes, I cater to his wanting to be around me, it's not rewarding for me to have a dog that's not independent of me, but it's the reality..and until I'm ready to address it 100% I haven't…he has made significant progress in crating and barrier frustrations...so I'm happy with the progress, and frankly..these other issues needs to be dealt with before addressing this...in order to make me leaving him with others successful. He's a happy, healthy young boy with a complex and stubborn mind, I'm going to work with him and not fight him on evolving and adapting his behaviors. However, your concern is noted and appreciated.
