my thanks to all of you for your wonderful advice - i will take everything that you all have said into consideration before making a decision - however my wife and i have decided that our grieving over the loss of our 4 year old is not over yet so we are going to delay any decision until we can get past this point - with that in mind, and realizing how difficult these discussions have been for me, i am going to unsubscribe myself from this site until such time as we can come to better terms with our situation - again, my thanks to all of you for trying to help - Manny