Welcome to the Basenji Forum, and like the others, I'm sorry to hear about Cocoa… I lost my 1.5 yr old girl last September, Zeba, when she was hit by a car, and I still am not "over" her... like you said, we humans were owned by our pets.
Thank you, as well, for opening your home to Lita. While you haven't really given yourself time to mourn Cocoa, I'd say that it's safe to assume that the two dog breeds are completely different.
If you take time to read the pages found here on the forum, it's very true that basenjis are very intelligent dogs, and you'll read pages and pages of basenji antics. They aren't being naughty, per se, they are just being "b's", lol. I don't think I've ever seen a basenji on Cesar Milan's TV shows, because using his techniques and tactics will not work with basenjis. If Lita's last owner subscribed to the "COME! I'm the human, you must be submissive to me!" attitude, and when that didn't work, resorted to hitting... well, that's the effect you'll see in Lita's fear of people.
It takes time and patience to help Lita.... and commitment from you and your family. I will tell you that if you allow Lita to wiggle into your heart, she will be there forever... we have two other basenji girls, Lola and Becca, and we've had Lola for 1.5 years and Becca for 1 year. I think it's safe to say that they are truly feeling like we are THEIR pack, and that they aren't going to be bounced anywhere anytime soon.
Hearts and Roos to you- Patty