Skip to content

Fear of husband-help!

Basenji Training
  • A general rule of thumb is don't use any aversives (punishment, or negative consequence) for fear issues. If the dog is feeling nervous for whatever reason, and something scary or irritating happens (getting squirted) it will only make the fear intensify.

    If I am understanding your post correctly, it has only been a few days? Give her some time to adjust. Don't have your husband push the issue. Only very good things should come from him, and surrounding his presence.

  • Yes we have only had him since Saturday. When we went to meet him on Friday he was so so but then warmed right up to him, so I am guessing its just that fact that he is at a diffrent house. Right now we are on the couch and he is about 4ft from my husband chewing on his bone. My husband has been ignoring him for about an hour now and drops a treat when he gets up to leave the room. The only down side of droping the treat is our female gets the treat before Rusty does lol.

  • @mrslee52805:

    Yes we have only had him since Saturday. When we went to meet him on Friday he was so so but then warmed right up to him, so I am guessing its just that fact that he is at a diffrent house. Right now we are on the couch and he is about 4ft from my husband chewing on his bone. My husband has been ignoring him for about an hour now and drops a treat when he gets up to leave the room. The only down side of droping the treat is our female gets the treat before Rusty does lol.

    It would be more effective to have you hand out to treats to each dog when he ENTERS the room. Otherwise you may set up the situation so that the dog wants him to LEAVE the room so a treat will be given. Try to think of it as when husband appears awesome things happen…when husband leaves nothing exciting happens. But I think if everybody just relaxes, the dogs nerves will settle as he gets used to the home.

    It is really important that the dog whose behavior you are trying to change is the one that gets the treat. So if you can't be there to hand out the treats when he comes in the room, he could throw a small handful of treats to make sure that Rusty gets some.

  • I'm not a fan of the squirt bottle, either…. imagine every time you did what was natural to you, like laugh, you got squirt in the face!

    Maybe a reassuring "It's okay, Rusty", would be better? My other dog, Joker, is a rat terrier, and he has two distinctive barks: one where he is protective of us, and another when he's playing. Once Rusty gets used to his new home, he will probably calm down.

    Patience and time, and relax! Do you know how many other homes your dog lived in before yours? Once he realizes that this is his "forever" home, I'm sure he will settle in to being wonderful.

    Congratulations on your new addition, and thank you for rescuing him! :)

  • @Patty:

    I'm not a fan of the squirt bottle, either…. imagine every time you did what was natural to you, like laugh, you got squirt in the face!

    Maybe a reassuring "It's okay, Rusty", would be better? My other dog, Joker, is a rat terrier, and he has two distinctive barks: one where he is protective of us, and another when he's playing. Once Rusty gets used to his new home, he will probably calm down.

    Patience and time, and relax! Do you know how many other homes your dog lived in before yours? Once he realizes that this is his "forever" home, I'm sure he will settle in to being wonderful.

    Congratulations on your new addition, and thank you for rescuing him! :)

    He has been with 3 homes. The women who found him, then a family, then back to the women who found him, then to another women who adopted him 6wks ago and had to give him back since her boyfriend came home from overseas and didnt like him. She told them that he hid behind her when he came home and barked at him. Then he went back to the women who rescued him and now to us.

  • Andrea said everything I would, except I would also add more men.

    Get friend to go with you to park or even a parking LOT if none near. Have friend go to every man possible, give a treat and ask to go by and toss to the dog. Tiny treats so don't over do it (and decrease food if necessary to compensate, lol). Do this a couple of times a week. Once the dog looks happily at men approaching, work on them getting closer, closer, and after a week or 2, actually hold out hand to give treat. Really it won't take more then 4 or 5 times until you retrain the dog to see males as a good thing. :)

  • @DebraDownSouth:

    Andrea said everything I would, except I would also add more men.

    Get friend to go with you to park or even a parking LOT if none near. Have friend go to every man possible, give a treat and ask to go by and toss to the dog. Tiny treats so don't over do it (and decrease food if necessary to compensate, lol). Do this a couple of times a week. Once the dog looks happily at men approaching, work on them getting closer, closer, and after a week or 2, actually hold out hand to give treat. Really it won't take more then 4 or 5 times until you retrain the dog to see males as a good thing. :)

    But I wouldn't do this right away. He already sounds overwhelmed with change. I would keep it simple, and only add new things once he is comfortable with the household.

  • Awww, no wonder he's nervous, he's like a ping pong ball! Can you imagine being a year old, and having to adjust to three different sets of rules?

    We adopted Lola in May, and she was not potty trained because she was confined to the kitchen area of her last home.. Well,she's been here for 6 months, and I would say that she's finally figured it out. (We are Lola's fourth home, and she's almost 2.)

  • @Quercus:

    But I wouldn't do this right away. He already sounds overwhelmed with change. I would keep it simple, and only add new things once he is comfortable with the household.

    I agree! I like to give them at least a couple of weeks to get used to new home before taking out places.

  • He will take treats from my husbands hand and then back about a foot away and eat it. The biggest concern is when he gets up from sitting and moves around. The rescue give a 7wk trial period and if he is still not a good fit then they will take him back. I dont want to give him back. He is GREAT with my 3 yr old and me. So we will just take it one step at a time.

    Another question…. On thanksgiving we will have more men over here what should I do with him then? I dont want him to bark and be scared the whole time. Should I put him upstairs or in the crate in the living room or try and let him roam freely as he does now?

  • I think the holiday is so soon that I'd probably let him stay upstairs, maybe with a tv or radio to further buffer him. You're right – you don't want him to be scared the whole time.

    He sounds like a sweet boy who needs a little time to get his feet under him.

  • I agree, for the holiday keep him crated in a different room otherwise the chances of him getting overwhelmed by all the people an activity is for sure going to happen.

  • I adopted a Basenji (Bernie) who had lived for 3 years with his female breeder, he wasn't actually terrifed but just didn't like men. (Then there were 5 males in my family). He eventually accepted my sons but it took a whole year for him to accept my husband. One day my husband was sitting on the sofa and Bernie clambered on his lap, from then on all was well, so 7 weeks is really quite a short time for him to change. Be patient and get your husband to hand feed him for a while. This should make a big difference but as the others say don't let him get overwhelmed by too many men at a time.

  • another idea, btw, might be to try leashing him and have your husband just lead him around in a few days after he is more settled.

  • The tethering him to the husband may also backfire. He is essentially being forced to confront the thing he fears most. IMO the better thing is to show him that your husband is a good thing. I agree with having your husband be the one to take care of him. Once he bonds a little bit, then I would tether him later after he gains a bit of trust. But this is My Opinion only.

  • My husband does walk him and he is so so with him. BUT yesterday my husband came home, walked in ignored rusty sat down in the recliner. Our female, Chloe, walked up to him to get petted and then so did Rusty!! It only lasted for about 2 min but then he went back to being scared. So I think we are making progress! I was shocked when i saw that.

  • Yes, you are, and so is Rusty! If only we could peek into his brain to understand what happened in his first year of life to make him leary…. time, love and tenderness (wait, is that a Michael Bolton song?:)).

    He sure is a beautiful dog, and with his big "sister" there to teach him the ropes, he will quickly learn that he's there for the long-haul... I bet that within a month, you will be amazed at his transformation. Hearts and hugs to your family!

  • Arlene, that's why I said after he is more settled. Certainly tethering when afraid not good. But once they are okay, it makes the getting up and moving around part of his activity also and should stop the barking if it continues.

    We had a rescue here that barked every time my husband moved. Fine with him, took food, sat, let him groom… but let Larry move and he barked. Tethering simply taught him Larry was in control and stopped the barking.

  • We certainly had the same problem with Ella. She had a noticeable preference for women from the first day we got her. I am male and I did most of the walking and the feeding, including hand-feeding her for many weeks (which I highly recommend). We almost re-homed Ella because it was kind of tearing me up and making it diffucult for me to create a close bond with her. Every time I would stand up or make any sudden move she would react, even if she was across the room. I could barely get her to take treats from me. I was walking on egg shells for months.

    It has been 2 years and Ella still has a definite preference for women. However, I can say that our bond is extremely close and, if anything, I tend to be the person she obeys the most and that she looks to when she is confused or scared. Our first Basenji friend said she had the same problem with their second Basenji being afraid of the husband. It took a while to overcome.

    In our case it took nearly 6 months before I felt accepted by her. In retrospect, it was mostly painful because I didn't know if it would ever work itself out. All I can say is that Basenji's are smart and eventually Rusty will figure out that your husband can be trusted. And once you have a Basenji's trust, you will have it for life.

  • BCraig, what a heartwarming post!

    Thank you for being so open and honest about your Ella! It sounds like she's found her forever forever home. :)

Suggested Topics

  • Help with my Basenji

    Basenji Training
    1
    0 Votes
    1 Posts
    2k Views
    No one has replied
  • Peeing in the house…help!

    Basenji Training
    13
    0 Votes
    13 Posts
    6k Views
    P
    Me too, Pat - I swear by it.
  • Nala needs help housebreaking.

    Basenji Training
    9
    0 Votes
    9 Posts
    3k Views
    RivermoonR
    While it's sometimes easier to hope that the older dogs will teach the little one, that doesn't always happen. While I had it work with Apache, it didn't with Zuni. When I was house training Zuni I would leash her up and take her out into the yard and just wait until she went, then praise and treat. There were many times she wouldn't move, so we just stood there until she moved and went or went where she was. It can be a real pain, especially in the middle of the night…but that doesn't last forever. Any accidents in the house were just cleaned up and not acknowledged. When we lived in the city, the dogs did prefer to go while on walks, but would, if they REALLY needed to go, go out into the yard.
  • Focus help

    Basenji Training
    15
    0 Votes
    15 Posts
    5k Views
    wizardW
    I've talked with the owner of the facility it was interesting that the owner had a similar situation in her class but caught the problem the first night. She suggested stay on leash for the sequences and treat more between obstacles (just as suggested here), so I guess we'll try and finish the class after I talk with the instructor and probably take it over with a different instructor. And the owner offered to do a private lesson with us so I'll jump on that chance too.
  • Help

    Basenji Training
    24
    0 Votes
    24 Posts
    9k Views
    wizardW
    All good suggestions so far for you to try. Here's my suggestions based on my experiences. 1. When mine first came to my home I would arrange a bit of vacation time so that the first day I was with them totally, then the next day I would disappear out the door for 15 minutes and then for longer times, then the third day I disappeared for an hour or more, etc., until I could go to work for half a day then eventually for my full regular work day. This took me about a week to train the dog to be home alone. 2. The second basenji that came into my life had been broken of his crate training by an ignorant owner so I never could get him back into it. Instead I blocked off a corner of the kitchen for him with a bed and toys for him to stay in for the first several days. Gradually I allowed him more wandering room until he was trustworthy enough to have access to the whole house. This took about a month. 3. Be sure to give your dog a variety of toys and especially the kind that you can put kibble or other food in (such as "Kong" toys). Basenjis need mental stimulation or they get bored (=destructive). My current basenji gets frozen raw marrow bones when I go to work and sometimes she'll still be nawing on it when I get home. I also save old bones and fill the hole with kibble and yogurt or pumpkin and then freeze and give this to her sometimes. 4. Someone mentioned rawhide but I've never had luck with that - it's not digestable and has caused problems with my dogs (one time a piece got stuck in the digestive tract and he screamed "bloody murder" with every movement). Never give your dog a treat unsupervised until you know she can handle it or doesn't have an allergic reaction to it. Once you know its safe then okay - but even then I never give the stick type treats to mine unless I'm home to supervise. Hope this helps.
  • More help please! another problem..

    Basenji Training
    8
    0 Votes
    8 Posts
    2k Views
    MaxBooBooBearM
    When I was trying to keep Tyler and Zoey in the Xpen (instead of my computer and bookcase like I do now), I actually nailed it to the hardwood floor. Now I have some screw bolts on the sliding glass door frame to hook the end panel to so that they can't move it to get to my desk/bookcase. The other end panel goes behind the bookcase next to the wall. There are ways to keep it in place.