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I failed as a mother and a dog owner…long...positive advice needed :(

Behavioral Issues
  • I really have nothing further to add and I'mm sure with the help you're getting this can be resolved. I agree with what has already been said and that it was purely a reprimand and natural to Tosca. As the others have said there is no point beating yourself up about something that could have happened to any one. I once adopted a dog who when he came treeated my small children as people to be disciplined when he thought they were naughty (often just invading his space)

    It took us exactly a year to resolve the whole thing mainly by establishing the childrens control by hand feeding him (they took turns) Until we considered him reliable we kept a basket muzzle on him but didn't separate him from the children. It was also a matter of teaching the children too to respect his space. I know your little one is as yet too young to expect him to understand but as somebody else said time will resolve this and not much either.

  • Just wondering how things are going?

  • Thanks for asking :)
    Things are going ok…Colton is healing well, he got his stitches out yesterday, so he no longer looks like Chucky :P You can definitely still tell it was a bite, though, which is embarrassing when I take him anywhere.
    Tosca is doing ok too...her vet visits have been fine (we have to go 3x in 10 days per law) but she is going crazy with no walks for 10 days. Monday can't come fast enough in that regard!
    It hasn't been too bad, though, keeping them apart. It sucks, but it's been managable with rawhides, and rotating her between outside, and up/down with DH or I, whoever doesn't have Colton at the moment.
    I have called 2 behaviorists, but so far we are playing phone tag. One I am hoping to talk to on Sunday, the other might have to wait until after the weekend. I was sick Tuesday and Wednesday so I didn't get calling as quickly as I should have. The first was recommended by Shawn Smith, and the second from my vet. After I speak to them in person, I'll try to decide who would be better for our situation. Hopefully we can get whoever it is in quickly and get working on this...so far it's been manageable, but certainly not easy. Especially with winter coming, and we can't put Tosca outside as much.
    So overall we are managing just fine, and waiting for more news...I'll update again soon :) Thanks to everyone who helped me...it's great to have such wonderful support!

  • Do you not have a large crate for Tosca?
    Not sure what kind of rawhide, but I am of the "should be banned" group. One of my worse experiences with dogs was watching a dog strangle and die a horrible death with FIVE of us trying to hold him down to get the wet sticky rawhide chunk out. It was traumatic to put it mildly.
    http://www.ehow.com/facts_5901278_bad-bones-long-period-time_.html

  • Let me know how your consult goes with the trainer :) you can email me at quercusbasenjis at gmail dot com

  • Thanks Quercus…if you don't mind, I will do that :) Also, if you don't mind, I might email you and ask you which seems better. I have one name I got from Shawn Smith, but she admitted she doesn't know this person in real life. I also got another name from Tosca's vet. Her vet is not all that familiar with Basenjis, but said she thought hers would be better because she had heard of the person from Shawn, but thought hers would be better for aggression issues. Both the vet and Shawn told me to look at their certifications and decide, but I have no idea what I am looking for.
    Therefore, if things are still unclear after speaking to these people on the phone, I might ask your opinion if that's ok :)

    DebraDownSouth...we do have a large crate, but we can't keep her in there all the time. We already work full time, so I can't imagine locking her up for so long, that's no life for Tosca either. As for the rawhides, I know they are not the safest thing, but we take what precautions we can. She only chews them for awhile each day, not hours on end. Also she is supervised, and I am watching for her to bite off any big chunks and things like that. I often have treats nearby and "trade" her if she gets a chunk off. I know they are scary, when we first got Tosca and didn't know any better, we let her have them and didn't take chunks away, and she did start choking once. Luckily DH was able to get it out just fine. Right now, I think with our precautions the benefits outweigh the risks, but that's just me. I know a lot of people use them, and others are hesitant :)

  • Jylly18…. I think you are doing all the right things to work through this!

  • Quercus…did you get my email? I hope the address worked...I spoke to both of the trainers, but have no idea what to look for in terms of certification and stuff. I didn't know if I should put the names on here publicly, so I emailed you. Just wondering if you had any input on which to choose, and wondering if you had heard of one of them.
    Hope you don't mind my email, and thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

  • I hope it all works out for all of you.

    Rita Jean

  • @Jylly18:

    Quercus…did you get my email? I hope the address worked...I spoke to both of the trainers, but have no idea what to look for in terms of certification and stuff. I didn't know if I should put the names on here publicly, so I emailed you. Just wondering if you had any input on which to choose, and wondering if you had heard of one of them.
    Hope you don't mind my email, and thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

    I emailed you this morning :) Sorry about the delay!

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    @elbrant With my first B (who educated me on the art of the basenji lol), I did not initially give him enough walks. It really didn’t do either of us any good lol. A tired basenji is a good basenji rings true and also a tired basenji is a happy content basenji :) It also does the humans a lot of good to get out in nature and walk, both mentally and physically. Good long walks and mental stimulation are probably the easiest fix for most problems. One thing that is also important is to get past the “master” phase / idea. Many dogs adore their owners as their master and just want to please their owners. I think the crucial stage with a basenji comes somewhere around the two year stage, where I reach a “special understanding” with them. There is this bond and understanding where they start to trust and understand that I am the ultimate master of them, but without trying to quash their unique spirits. So on the big stuff they have to trust me, but they can still get away with the small stuff. It’s really hard to explain that to people who have not experienced that as new owners. If they get past that difficult stage they will be hooked, but it isn’t always easy to believe that you will get past it and some just don’t want to put that much effort into them. I remember my first basenji and wondering why I had such a strange and crazy dog. Which then made me read and research what was “wrong” with him lol.
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    Agree with Debra: apart from any medical issues, it looks like he is protecting the new life. Cute as it may be, it's not his job. Your husband should step up to the plate and take first position in a clear way. All the best!
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    nope! not at all. :)
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    i'm feeling your pain on this one. dan and i broke up a few months ago so i moved home and mia went from sleeping with rocky and maggie on the couch to sleeping in bed with me. if i'd go out at night, my mom, instead of crating her would let her sleep in bed with my parents. (because she cried and mom felt bad) then dad told mom he didnt want her in bed with them so mom would sleep in a spare bedroom just to keep her from crying in her crate! (typical grandmother.. she spoiled her rotten) Now dan and i are trying to work things out so i brought mia with me last night to stay over and he keeps maggie and rocky in the laundry room with their beds and they are content with that, but Mia was NOT having it. she sat at the gate and cried for a good 2 hours. They aren't allowed in the bedroom because he got new furniture, so she has to get used to it i guess.. Only time will tell i suppose.. but uggh that crying.. its enough to make you wanna pull your hair out. im hoping when the 3 warm up to each other again she'll stop..
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    I crate mine when I go to work or leave the house. I am in total agreement with BDawg. It's safer for your dog and your sanity to have them sleep in the crate while you aren't around. I agree. I now take Caesar and Cairo to work with me and all they do is sleep. Caesar and Cairo are in a kennel when I am out of the house. There is always an adjustment period where there is a bit of whining, but it is a nice thing to train them to do if you go out of town and have to have them in a kennel.